WHILE PONDERING

Have you ever asked yourself.. why me? Why is this happening to me? Why is life so hard? Why am I being faced with so much at one time? I will admit, I have had those moments, those moments where I feel as if one more thing happens I am going to break.

I was sitting here pondering these old thoughts and feelings. Now that I am out of the darkness and having the time of my life...how did I get here? Where did those negative feelings go?

While pondering I couldn't stop thinking about how I was blessed with an amazing husband, who is my very best friend. He listens to me, tells me I look good when I haven't even gotten ready for the day and holds me and tells me everything is going to be alright. I always wanted a man like this in my life, but never thought one truly existed. Well here I am proving myself wrong. I never thought I would be able to just sit around and do nothing with someone but still be having the time of my life. Alan is someone that has a kind heart, is loving and intellegent.

When I found out that my dad was being diagnosed with a fatal cancer (almost 2 years ago, but still surving!) and that he only had a few months to live; alan was there for me. He took the day off of work and spent it trying to cheer me up. And as we have continued on this path together I have been faced with other situations that I thought were the end of my world, and alan was there to pick up the pieces and tell me everything was going to be alright.

I hope to one day to feel worthly of Alan's love. He is unbelievably sweet and generous. And I want to take this time to wish him a Happy Valentine's Day! I am "4-ever yours"!